Saturday, March 26, 2011

Mini Meltdown

I had a mini meltdown today. I think it was one of those days where a lot of things had been building up, and one little, insignificant thing tipped me over the edge.

My meltdown happened as I was driving down Woodruff Rd. Joseph knew I was sad, so he said we could go to Michael's to look for baskets for our kitchen. When we left Michael's, he reminded me that I could always talk to him when something was bothering me. I started telling him about the little, insignificant thing that tipped me over the edge. Then it hit me why it bothered me so much, and I started crying.

I cried and told him I just wanted my family to want to come visit us, even if they couldn't. I at least wanted them to want to. We've had our house for over a year, and I'm pretty sure my cousin Johnnie Ann and her family are the only ones from my side of the family who have come to see us.

Please don't read into this that I'm upset with my family. If you're my family, I'm not upset with you. I know life is busy. We're all busy. I know gas is expensive (I had a dream last night that it's going to be $20 a gallon, so prepare yourselves). We're just always the ones who do the travelling. It would be nice to be sought out.

I guess I should have warned you that this post would be a little whiney. I've been a little whiney for a couple of days. I should probably spend some time outside in the sunshine when it returns.

Joseph and I decided that the only thing we could do about the situation of people not coming to visit us is make sure our home is ready for visitors. We're going to tackle the guest room over the next couple of weeks to make sure it would be comfortable for anyone who chooses to head this way.

I could also actually try inviting people to come, rather than assuming they know our home is always open to them. I think I've just been rejected enough over the years that it's hard for me sometimes.

OK, enough. I'm sorry. I know I don't typically write "downer" posts. I guess I just wanted to be honest and show the world I'm not a shiney, happy person 24/7. I do get a little whiney from time to time. :O)


Travis and Stephanie said...

I totally understand! We ALWAYS do the traveling for my in-laws to see Sam. It is really hard to explain that the Interstate runs both ways and their income is much higher than ours. Our gas budget typically only covers our normal around town gas now that the prices have gone up. Just tonight, we were asked if we would see them on our way to TN for Easter. They are 2.5 hours out of the way and we haven't been to TN since Sam was 9 months. Ugh!! You are not in this boat alone. I am still praying for an attitude adjustment about this but it is SO HARD to not get bitter. Love ya Rachelle!!

Rachelle Kirkpatrick Adams said...

Thanks, Stephanie!