Hero of the Week: Grandmama Clyde

This post has been on my I Intend To Do list for a couple of weeks now. As soon as I found out Grandmama Clyde was sick and likely didn't have much time left on this side of Heaven, I knew I wanted to feature her as Hero of the Week. I hope she doesn't mind that I didn't get around to honoring her until today. (She almost never complained and had such a sweet spirit, so I think I'm OK.)

Hero of the Week

Clyde DuRant Kirkpatrick

1927-2013

Rather than starting from scratch with a post, I'm going to share with you the eulogy I gave at her funeral. I wish I had transcripts of the sweet words my cousins, Zack and Michael, shared. They made us all laugh, which she would have loved.

If you'd rather watch it than read it, Joseph captured it on his iPhone (thanks, babe). Forgive the ugly cry.

I began by reading Proverbs 31:10-31.

Starting in my late teens and early twenties, I wanted to be the Proverbs 31 woman. She was my hero. A few years ago, I came to the realization that my grandmother was the Proverbs 31 woman, and she was my hero here on earth.

She devoted her life to serving the Lord by serving her husband and her family. She maintained the house, prepared meals for her family, and showed hospitality to all who entered her home.

Grandmama worked diligently with her hands. She enjoyed sewing and other handwork, and she made clothes, blankets, decorations for every holiday, and gifts for others. She even passed on her sewing skills. I believe all of us grandchildren had a lesson on making pillows or Barbie doll clothes at some point.

We all have memories making cookies with her. There were pictures of us making cookies for Christmas, Easter, and Valentine’s Day. She seemed to really love those times with us. It was a tradition that meant a lot to her, and to me as well.

When Grandmama and Pop Pop went camping, they often learned new games, and they enjoyed teaching those games to us. I remember playing the card game Hand and Foot with them one night. I was doing pretty well, and I made sure they knew it. Grandmama said, “Alright, now, you’re getting a little cocky.” She was right. She wanted us to learn and be successful, in big and little things, but she wanted us to do everything with humility.

Grandmama modeled friendship and loyalty for us over the years. She made friends wherever she went, and she maintained those friendships.

She loved to travel, and she and Pop Pop traveled as much as they could. They always thought about us while they traveled, and they sent us postcards, being sure to tell us they were looking forward to seeing us. Even when they were miles and miles away, we were always close to her heart, and she’ll always be close to ours.

When I was in second grade, I came down with the chicken pox. They lasted two weeks. Because I wasn’t allowed to go to school, I went to Grandmama and Pop Pop’s house every day. I remember lots of grilled cheese sandwiches and lots of tea parties. She was so good to me when I was little - and as I got older also.

She and Pop Pop were always supportive of me. They went to my tee ball games, dance recitals, school plays, award ceremonies, Girl Scout recognition days, graduations, and anything else I had going on. Grandmama loved being involved in my life, and I’m really glad I have all of those memories of her being there cheering me on.

Grandmama loved helping us any way she could. When I was little, I was in Girl Scouts. On the weekends, while I was staying with my grandparents, I would scour my handbook for projects I could do to earn badges. I would find one, show it to Grandmama, and ask her for help. She almost always replied with, “Sure!”

We heard the word “sure!” so many times. As we watched the wonderful video Dianna made, we recalled how much Grandmama just loved life, and she lived it to the fullest. We heard “sure!” so much because she was always willing to spend time with us, almost no matter where we asked her to go.

She also had a joyful spirit and a great laugh. A couple of years ago, we all went on a cruise. Grandmama went out into the ocean with us and began swimming as carefree as could be. While she was out there with us, she giggled like I don’t think I’d ever heard her giggle before. It was almost like she was a young girl again, and it was awesome.

Grandmama always talked about how much the Lord had blessed her over the years, especially with her wonderful husband and family. We girls especially love to hear the story of how our grandparents fell in love. Personally, I think it’s one of the greatest love stories ever told. A few years ago, Grandmama wrote this letter to me. I’d like to read part of it to you.

"To start with I'll tell you how I met Mark. I met his sister, Betty, my freshman year at Winthrop and we became good friends And we ended up rooming together our last two years. I had been home with Betty a few times while Mark was away in the service, and I really liked her parents.

Mark came to Winthrop one weekend to date someone that he had been dating. And I was dating someone else. The girl he was dating got her report card for the semester and her grades were awful. She was a very good student and made very good grades as a normal thing. This upset her so much that she couldn't continue her date with Mark. My date for the weekend had already left so Mark and I ended up together. Later it was found out that the wrong grades were sent to her and the gardes she had really made were very good. So this was the beginning of Mark and I getting together. My good fortune!

We started writing each other. He invited me to dances at Clemson and he came to Winthrop for dances. This was after he was at Clemson. With us getting together at Clemson and Winthrop and corresponding, it wasn't very long before I knew that I liked him very much. And I think the feeling was mutual. ...

I graduated from college in May of 1948 and Mark was there for the graduation. And I was at Clemson, with Mark's parents, when he graduated in January 1949.

By this time we knew that we wanted to get married but we wanted to wait until he finished Clemson in January 1949. So we were married in April 1949. And it has been a wonderful almost 60 years and I think our love for each other has grown so much during this time. ...

Writing this has brought back many special memories. The Lord has really blessed us. We hace three very nice sons - three daughters-in-law who are like daughters to us and six wonderful grandchildren. ...

You asked about any attributes Mark had that I liked. He was considerate, caring, and thoughtful and still is all of this and more."

Grandmama’s love for Pop Pop was evident to all who knew her. It was a love that grew stronger over the years, and it never wavered. Pop Pop, never, ever doubt that your wife loved you more than anyone on this earth.

 

As much as Grandmama loved Pop Pop, she also loved the Lord. Growing up, Grandmama and Pop Pop read the Bible together every morning after breakfast. I used to love when they would let me read. Grandmama helped me learn catechisms when I was little (please don’t ask me to recite them now!), and she helped me complete my Bible study worksheets during the summers. A couple of weeks ago, Grandmama was recalling her time battling breast cancer. She said she didn’t know how people could get through things like that without the support of family, friends, and the Lord.

Over the last couple of weeks, these verses in Philippians have been on my mind:

“But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.”

Our hearts ache because Grandmama is no longer here with us on earth, but her heart is rejoicing, because she is in her rightful home, and she is no longer suffering. I like to think she had a temporary visa here on earth, but her true citizenship was in heaven, with her Heavenly Father.

Seeing Grandmama pass on Good Friday was a beautiful experience, because Christ was on the forefront of our minds. We rejoiced because we knew Jesus was no longer on the cross, and Grandmama was seeing Him face to face. He told His disciples, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except by me.” Jesus made a way for Grandmama Clyde, and He made a way for all of us as well. There was a celebration in Heaven when Grandmama went home to be with the Lord, and I know she would want each of us to have celebrations of our own some day. I’m sure she would be one of the first people there to greet us. If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, I’d love the opportunity to talk to you about Him. I know Grandmama would really want you to get to know Him.

I’m thankful that because of Jesus we have hope and peace. We know that our grief is temporary, because we’ll see Grandmama again someday, and that’s a precious gift, because I miss her like crazy already.

Grandmama Clyde, I love you, and I can't wait to see you again someday in Heaven.

Hero of the Week: AJ Paris

Years ago, I had a Xanga site. Do you remember those? I attempted a regular feature, Hero of the Week. Let's just say I didn't stick with it, and 2 out of the 5 hero posts were the same person. Oh well!

I've been thinking of adding a Hero of the Week post to this blog. It will feature normal people doing normal things with God's grace. 

Hero of the Week originated at my elementary school, Homewood Elementary. We were the Homewood Heroes (our mascot was a heroic tiger). Each class had a Hero of the Week, and each week's hero had a small bulletin board in the hall that featured photos and/or memorabilia the student selected so other students could get to know him/her better. It was super cool, and I always loved it when it was my turn to be Hero of the Week.

I saw a picture of my cousin, AJ, on Facebook today, and I felt prompted to start my Hero of the Week series. I think she's an excellent first hero.

Here are some things I think are heroic about AJ:

• She loves the Lord and rests in His grace, trusting He will guide her, grow her, and give her everything she needs.
• She loves her husband, Jason, and she supports him at home and in his role as a youth minister.
• She is a wonderful mother, clearly fulfilling her calling by the Lord.
• She is one of the only people I know who is doing what she said in college she wanted to do with her life.
• She isn't ashamed of the fact that some of the earliest plays she wrote were with me on our greatgrandmother's front porch.
• She created a video with me to submit to Oprah. Even though we never mailed it in, it's awesome, and she's awesome for doing that with me.

AJ, thanks for being heroic in your everyday life. Thanks for trusting the Lord and being an example of a godly wife and mom to the rest of us. Thanks for being one of my dearest friends over the last 31 years (hope you don't mind that I just called you out on being 31). I love you!

My Thoughts on Support Chick-fil-a Day

I woke up thinking about all of "this" today. Generally, when I wake up thinking about something, it's with me in my thoughts all day. Sometimes blogging helps me process information. I'm going to try that with "this."

I'm sure most of you know that Chick-fil-a has been in the media quite a bit recently because of their "anti-gay" stance. I have "anti-gay" in quotation marks because I don't think the fact that the owners of Chick-fil-a support the biblical definition of marriage makes their company "anti-gay." From what I know of the company, they welcome everyone into their establishments, and they serve ALL of their customers with respect. I'm confident all of their guests get a good dose of "my pleasure" (employees' response to "thank you"), regardless of sexual orientation.

I'm sure most of you know that there are two major sides here that I'm going to over-simplify into the boycotters and the supporters. I'm going to say that I don't fall into either category, because I don't think I really fit into either one.

Now I'm going to share all of my random thoughts. You can read or not read. That's your right.

As a Christian, I have to look to Scripture. This whole Chick-fil-a issue isn't about chicken. It's about family and homosexuality. Would you agree?

I believe that Scripture teaches that marriage between a man and a woman is a beautiful mystery, one that plays an important role of portraying the relationship between Christ and the church (see Ephesians 5:25-33).

I believe that Scripture teaches us that we are to love our neighbor, that we are to "walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us" (Ephesians 5:1; see also Matthew 22:35-40).

I believe that homosexual acts are sinful (see Romans 1). I say "acts" because I'm not sure saying "homosexuality" is sinful is spot on accurate (I welcome Scripture that will help me understand, if you'd like to share). I'm fat. I'm not sure being fat is sinful, so much as the gluttony that leads to me being fat is sinful. Does that make sense? I also believe there are a whole host of sins. If you decided to read Romans 1, you'll see one list of sins. Did you find yourself in that list? I certainly did. If you've ever been disobedient to your parents, you're in the list. I don't think any of us can escape the list.

I believe that Christ died for us, even though we're all in the list.

"All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23, emphasis mine)

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)

I believe there are some genuine believers who are homosexuals.

Do I question their salvation because of their homosexuality?

No.

Do you question my salvation because I'm fat?

Probably not.

Do you question my salvation because I've been disobedient to my parents?

Probably not.

Do you question my salvation because I was disrespectful to my husband yesterday?

Probably not.

I could go on, but I won't.

Now I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know what to do with the fact that there are genuine believers who are struggling with the sin of homosexuality. I don't always know what it looks like to love them (or the nonbelievers in the LGBT community) - and I believe with my whole heart that I am called to love them, just like they're called to love me even though I'm fat, even though I walk around every day with undeniable evidence of my sin covering my bones. I don't know what it looks like to love them in the realm of civil rights and laws and such. I don't know. I wrestle with it. I need to study Scripture and read and pray and beg God to show me how he wants me to live.

Now back to Chick-fil-a.

I don't believe boycotting Chick-fil-a is the loving thing to do, because boycotting Chick-fil-a doesn't just affect the owners. A boycott will affect the employees and their families.

I don't believe participating in Support Chick-fil-a Day tomorrow is the loving thing to do, because it will not show love to my neighbors in the LGBT community. What I may see as supporting the owners' rights to their beliefs could be interpreted as an intentional, hurtful act toward the LGBT community, and I don't want to do that.

So, while I won't be eating Chick-fil-a on August 1st, I am not boycotting Chick-fil-a.

For those of you planning to participate in Support Chick-fil-a Day, I challenge you to pray and ask God to reveal your motives to you. If it really is just about supporting the rights of the owners, OK. But if there's even an ounce of an "I'll show THEM" motive, I encourage you to ask yourself if that's loving. Jesus told his followers that the second greatest commandment was to love their neighbors as themselves. Would you think it was loving toward you if someone did something with an "I'll show THEM" motive and YOU were a part of the THEM?

For my friends in the LGBT community (and I suspect there are more of you than I know), I do love you. Know that I'm wrestling with all of these things. I want to hold fast to what Scripture teaches, and I want to love you. I'll probably blunder along the way. I need grace, both from the Lord and from you.

If you made it this far, thanks.

Someone: A Poem by Fifth Grade Me

I read an old diary of mine yesterday, and I came across a poem I wrote in fifth grade. It amused me greatly, and I thought you'd get a kick out of it as well.


Someone 


He's the guy of my dreams, 
I think he's so fine, 
And just to think 
He's all mine. 


I hope that he'll 
Be mine forever, 
And that we'll never part 
No never, no never. 


A lot of the times 
He's really funny, 
And just to think 
That he's my honey.

B.E.E.F.

I decided to create a reading plan for myself. It's called B.E.E.F. Each letter represents a category of reading: Bible, Edifying, Educational, and Fun. I plan to be reading from all four categories at any given time. I picked out my first four books.

Bible: Romans
Edifying: Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis
Educational: Photographic Composition: A Visual Guide by Richard Zakia
Fun: Anne of Ingleside by L. M. Montgomery

We'll see how I do with it. So far, I've read the first four chapters of Romans, four chapters of Mere Christianity, and maybe 20 or so pages of Photographic Composition.


Do you have a reading plan that helps you stay on track?

Just a Little Update

It's been several weeks since I posted, so I thought I'd catch you all up on my life. I'm still a stay-at-home wife. I'm hesitant to call myself a homemaker just yet, because I really stink at making a home. I'm confident the Lord will do a great work in me, and I will, someday, be a good homemaker.

I do not have a job, and we're still OK with that. We're still praying that if God wants me working outside of our home, He'll drop a job in my lap. I'm sure you all have differing opinions on that matter, but we have a peace about our decision. God has provided faithfully over the last several months, and we trust Him. Our photography business has been steady, and we're praying that it will grow if God wants us to continue pursuing it.

I'm in school. I'm taking Design and Art History at Greenville Technical College. I like both of my classes. Design is much more challenging than I anticipated (probably because I had NO CLUE what that class involved when I registered for it), but God has been faithful. He has answered the many prayers that have been lifted up on my behalf, and I'm making it through the class. Art History scared me. Historically (hehe), my strength has not been in history, and I've only taken one art class in my life (it was in sixth grade, and I only remember one assignment that involved lots of black crayons). Surprisingly, I'm doing well in Art History. I give all of the glory to God, because I know He is the one making my brain work for that class.

The plan for next semester is to take three classes. I wanted to take four, but they are only offering three that I need. Fortunately, they are all back to back, so I'll still only be on campus two days a week. I'll actually be taking a photography class, which is why I'm a student at GTC. I'm excited! I met the photography professor, and I'm looking forward to being in his class.

I'm leading a small group for the women's Bible study at my church again. We're going through Breaking Free by Beth Moore. It's been a good study so far, and I'm looking forward to the weeks to come. I have a great group of ladies who are open to the Lord working in their lives, and they're open to sharing with the group. That's a great combination.

I'm loving our community group. Over the last several weeks, we've made an effort to take things a little deeper, and it's been a rewarding experience. I'm grateful that God has provided us with a group of people to do life with, which is the way He intended things.

There are babies galore being born, and four of them are in our lives (yay!). Joseph's sister, Gina, had little Ruthie in August. She's precious! We're really happy for Jay and Gina. Our friends Brent and Shannon had their daughter, Brigid, about a month ago. She's adorable! We took her newborn pictures, and it was a blast! My best friend, Crystal, is pregnant with little Isabella Grace. I can't wait for Matt and Crystal to have her in their arms! Dan and Rachel from our community group are expecting their son in December. Exciting times all around!

Nope. That wasn't a segue to tell you I'm pregnant.

I hope you're all doing well. If you just read this whole post, you may be sleepy now. I give you permission to go take a nap. :o)

Opening the Curtains and Battling Depression

I've shared with you that I'm unemployed. That has left me with a lot of free time on my hands. For some of you, that might sound thrilling. You could probably come up with a list of dozens, if not hundreds, of things you would like to do around your home. I have a list like that. I've accomplished some of it, but certainly not all of it.

Often, I find myself sleeping late, sometimes until the middle of the day, because it makes the day go by faster. I watch the minutes tick away, waiting for Joseph to come home so I'm not alone anymore.

Loneliness is hard for me. It's one of my biggest struggles being unemployed.

One of my other struggles is a lack of desire to do anything. I've wondered if it just boiled down to laziness, but I don't think it does. Oh, sure, some days I'm just being lazy. Others, I just don't want to do anything, even things I enjoy doing. I just want to stay in my pajamas, not put my contacts in, leave the curtains closed and the lamps off, and lie on the couch.

I recognize that as a symptom of depression, because I've been depressed before.

It seems different this time. It comes in spurts. Sometimes, it sneaks up on me in the middle of a happy moment. I'll have a few good days, and then I'll have the days where I want to keep the house dark and keep to myself.

I don't think I'm depressed because I'm unemployed. I think the unemployment triggered the depression. There's a difference.

I think if I were depressed because of the unemployment, I would have some sort of longing for my old job or for a new one.

Instead, I think the loneliness, a feeling of a lack of purpose, a feeling that I no longer contribute to our family, those things triggered my depression.

I don't want you to feel scared for me. I assure you I am not depressed to the point of suicidal thoughts or anything of the like. If anything, I would consider this a mild case of depression, because I can usually pull myself out of it (with the help of the Holy Spirit, of course, because without Him, the curtains stay closed).

I'm trying to recognize when I'm feeling depressed and counteract it. When I notice the living room is looking dark and gloomy, I make myself open the curtains. When I look at the clock and it's almost 2:30 in the afternoon and I'm still in my pajamas (oops ... like now!), I make myself get up and put on real clothes. I make myself put my contacts in, brush my teeth, brush my hair ... you know, typical good hygiene.

One of the most important things I'm doing is striving to spend time with the Lord in the mornings. I notice a difference in my days when I do. I'm more apt to be joyful and to be productive around the house. When I connect with the Lord, I'm reminded that I have many reasons to be grateful and filled with joy. I'm reminded that He is with me always, even when the curtains are closed.

Also, when I connect with the Lord in the mornings, I'm more apt to connect with Him throughout the day. When I start my day talking to Him, I talk to Him throughout the day. When I bring others to Him in prayer in the morning, I find myself thinking of them throughout the day, and I continue lifting them up in prayer.

I also recognize the spiritual warfare connected with this depression. I've been seeking to trust the Lord and follow His leadership in this new phase of my life. I know the enemy doesn't like that. He is going to do everything he can to try to distract me and keep me from staying connected to the Lord. So I must suit up:

^"10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. ¹¹ Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. ¹²For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. ¹³Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand inthe evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. ¹⁴Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;¹⁷and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,¹⁸praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, ¹⁹and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." (Ephesians 6:10-20, courtesy of biblegateway.com)